Friday, October 31, 2003

so it's basically been almost a month since i've written and oh my, how things can change within a month.....

just wanna start out by giving a shout out to all my halloween homies out there.....and if u're catholic then happy all saints day to you too....

i'm sitting in the library, it's friday and it's halloween.....this week just will not end i swear to goodness...hmm why am i having problems with this keyboard....just cant find that good old homerow...riiiiiiight


anyway i've been stressing, but hey, if u know me then that's the story of my life.....i've realized that perfection is unattainable and i'm pissed because i'm not perfect....but dont u worry about it, i'll get over it eventually lol.....

my grades arent really what i want them to be, and i'll pretty much keel over and die if i freakin get a 3.9....it's funny how a 3.9 to me is like failure and a 3.2 to someone else is wonderful....either way there's not like i'm getting an immediate reward from all this super stressing out.....right now, all i want to do is go to college...i pretty much went down in my SAT's....i feel stupid....but there are folks who got alot lower than me so i guess i feel good about myself....um what else....i sent out my notre dame application so hopefully i'll know by december about my status...i'm scared, but then again, what can u do..........i dont really feel like writing much else, but whatever.....HOller

Thursday, October 02, 2003

"what u doing?..."
"chillin at the holiday inn...."

umm yea, so right now i'm at school in the library and everything's just getting really funny because i'm so stressed that i just don't feel anything anymore...it's like i'm done....i've got work out of my ass....i'm such a procrastinator that it's not even funny....i have a government quiz tomorrow for a chapter that i never read...but lets just cut the jokes because the chapter wants to be about forty pages long....i have a precis to write tonite...not to mention the rest of mr mccluskey's take home test...i tried to do it last night and pretty much got through two questions...why is this the life i live....

it's funny how so many things can change within a short period of about six months....acquaintances, relationships, the works...drastic changes too.....things go uphill...then they go down hill...and then they pretty much flatline, and you're just left there standing REALLY confused lol....

i wonder where i'll be in six months....it's freaky to even think about....my four year stint as a high school student will be ending and i'll be moving on to bigger and better things (It's exciting, it really is....)....

but for now, i'm stuck in this hell hole, and i just have to make the best out of it....

life sucks, but that's nothing new...so there's really not much to talk about...

i miss my friends...hopefully anika is coming back next week like she said she would....even tho she doesn't have time to calla nigga it's gonna be ok....

dana...well she's just MIA for the time being...but that's what college life will do to ya...i swear times flies when u're having fun...it' also flies when u have a ton of homework to do....shit...where does the time go? i have no idea whatsoever...lol

kinda in a love slump right now...i don't know what else to call it...it's really weird....at a certain point during the summer i had mad options open...now i'm not saying that these options were the best options, BUT they were options nonetheless....now my love life is dry.....really....at this point i can honestly say that i dont have the same romantic feelings for megan that i had when we first broke up....it was still fresh in my mind, and that's why i felt that attachment for her....but now i just try to avoid anything romantic with her cuz that's not where i wanna go.....i dont get that same warm feeling when i kiss her.....her lips are actually cold.....it's just not the same....and really, if it comes down to it, the only thing we'd end up doing was doing the do....and it wouldn't be meaningful....at all....

so for now i'm jus patiently waiting for someone tolerable to come along...not someone perfect, but someone that i don't have any qualms with....and that will make it all GOOD....

my life is in semi shambles but i'm picking up the pieces....

HOLLER